detox

I feel like i'm detoxing from the greatest drug in the world. she was the greatest thing in the world and made me so happy. now i'm going thru the hardest withdrawl of my life. my inside hurts non stop and my brain is just going a mile a minute thinking about her. Eventually the shivers and the pain will go away and then i'll just be left of memories of her and she will be out of my life. i feel like if i let her in my life with things different i'll just be holding on to the hope of getting back together with her which i know won't be happening. she has moved on from me and its obvious but i just dont want to let go. i'm so addicted to her and i want it to go away. i hate being addicted to someone she has way to much control over me. i need the pain gone.

what a difference a year makes

so a little over a year ago i was at merrieweather post pavillion outside of baltimore and it was the begging of warped tour and now i'm a a shitty nu metal tour. I wish i could go back to a year ago kimi still loved me and I was much happier. now i'm left with very few things. the two people i would talk about my problems with both have found a boyfriend so it leaves me with no one to talk to about how depressed i am. the good thing is tomorow i fly to la and hopefully will see kimi. i miss her a lot and haven't got to talk to her as much as i want. this will end the longest period of me not seeing her since i met her. i'm excited and scared.

my new fuji

I love my new bike, i've been riding it ever secound i get and love it. i had to leave it on the bus when we flew to new mexico and i wish i had it today. we are a baptist convention where there is no tv and my phone doesnt work. my bike would be key to ride around and give me stuff today. we flew from jersey early this morning so no sleep for me.

yesterday we played with the almost, mxpx, norma jean and emery. it was awesome playing with bands that i know and have friends who are in them and work for them. but now its back to nu metal and garbage back to being bored