detox

I feel like i'm detoxing from the greatest drug in the world. she was the greatest thing in the world and made me so happy. now i'm going thru the hardest withdrawl of my life. my inside hurts non stop and my brain is just going a mile a minute thinking about her. Eventually the shivers and the pain will go away and then i'll just be left of memories of her and she will be out of my life. i feel like if i let her in my life with things different i'll just be holding on to the hope of getting back together with her which i know won't be happening. she has moved on from me and its obvious but i just dont want to let go. i'm so addicted to her and i want it to go away. i hate being addicted to someone she has way to much control over me. i need the pain gone.

what a difference a year makes

so a little over a year ago i was at merrieweather post pavillion outside of baltimore and it was the begging of warped tour and now i'm a a shitty nu metal tour. I wish i could go back to a year ago kimi still loved me and I was much happier. now i'm left with very few things. the two people i would talk about my problems with both have found a boyfriend so it leaves me with no one to talk to about how depressed i am. the good thing is tomorow i fly to la and hopefully will see kimi. i miss her a lot and haven't got to talk to her as much as i want. this will end the longest period of me not seeing her since i met her. i'm excited and scared.

my new fuji

I love my new bike, i've been riding it ever secound i get and love it. i had to leave it on the bus when we flew to new mexico and i wish i had it today. we are a baptist convention where there is no tv and my phone doesnt work. my bike would be key to ride around and give me stuff today. we flew from jersey early this morning so no sleep for me.

yesterday we played with the almost, mxpx, norma jean and emery. it was awesome playing with bands that i know and have friends who are in them and work for them. but now its back to nu metal and garbage back to being bored

this is what happens when you are depressed and have money to burn

my new baby

so bored

we had an off day yesterday in memphis. it was ridiculously hot and i spent so much time wandering a crappy mall. I also saw hot rod which was awfull. i walked out.

I hate off days I spend way to much money. I bought an old talib kweli record that I lost, season one of weeds, the against me dvd, and a bunch of shitty food. My physical purchases i like. weeds is a good show its no entorage but nothing is.

also, i spent most of the day talking to kelly about our respective siginifacant other situations. it sucks for both of us but she can at least see her kinda boyfriend guy. I want to go out to la and see kimi. its hard not talking to her but i dont get bummed as much when i dont attempt to talk to her.

the day before yesterday I flew into chicago and then spent 4 hours downtown waiting for a train to take me to kenosha. on the train i watched the simpsons movie which was good again. i saw it the night it came out.

today we are in dallas play at 6 flags. these shows are always weird. i dont really like riding rides so i just kinda sit around and do nothing. i did some reading which is good, i'm thinking about taking some online classes since I have so much downtown. i'm definelty going to buy a bike to take on tour with me so i can ride around towns and go to places rather being stuck all day. it'll be nice on the 3dg tour because it'll most likely be all venue sells.

ok i'm going to watch some weeds

la

kimi is acrosse the country in la now and i want to be out there so badly with her. this sucks

holy shit

that was hard i miss her so much already and i know i've left before to go on tour but this is different.

post one

this is my first post. I will start writing about my tours and interesting things that happen to me.